Samsonjo
New member
Domestic Violence: the both sides of the coin
Recently, I read in the news how a man was sentenced to death for killing wife and daughter. Killing is not a new thing in the society but killing someone you claim to love is what is hard to settle down with.
You might be familiar with the current story of how a gospel singer in Nigeria died of this same menace. Needless to say that most of us witnessed this ordeal either directly or indirectly from our backgrounds.
There's the saying that likings the relationship between couples to that of the teeth and tongue. As realistic as that illustration is, both ‘members of the same body' hasn't put the other to death. Or has your teeth ever cut off your tongue?
Notice that I intentionally used the term ‘members of
the same body' earlier. I think that's where the problem originates from most of the time. When couples no longer see themselves as the same or ‘one', there's bound to be issues.
Evidently, women are the ones termed to be victims but that's not true. Both sides are, actually. You see, there's no fire without a spark. One of the laws stipulated by Isaac Newton states that a body will remain in a state of rest(peace) until an external force is applied. That force is something one of the couple would have to introduce that will take them of their state of rest.
We must put into consideration some special attributes of both genders and give much room for tolerance, change, growth and understanding if any relationship is going to work.
A friend of mine just left an abusive marriage after he'd tried to make it work. He had made all kinds of consultations varying from marital counseling to psychological therapists and even spiritual. The woman on the other hand looks very thin and fragile but abusive and violent.
My friend (the man) most times does the house chores, takes the kids to school, hustle for money to provide for his family. He even at night helps the woman in her business to make distribution of goods to customers. Despite all this, she would deny him sex for months and she doesn't cook for him or do his laundry. I know everything. I wasn't told.
My friend had to leave because he overheard the wife on a phone conversation saying she would have to poison or strangle her man before he makes any move. So, my guy left for his dear life.
In every working relationship, someone is acting a fool. But don't take him or her as a fool. Do not misinterprete this to mean staying in a spontaneous and abusive marriage. That's not what I mean. Avoid it when you have to. Your life is very important.
However, must every relationship go that way? Must we continue with so much hatred and anger until we see the end or doom of the person we claim to love? Must we grow our innocent kids in this kind of up atmosphere until they begin to dread marriage?
Let those who are yet to marry look carefully. And let those who are experiencing this mayhem in their relationship look for possible ways of reconciliation.
A woman, I was told, fights with her man, compares him with other men almost every morning before he left for work. One day, after the same, he was hit by a vehicle on his way to the office. She cried for years in regret after she discovered that indeed the man was trying his best to keep the home running. Now, the children are fatherless, she's a widow and the effort of two would now be carried by one, herself.
If couples still value their relationships, they will deal with domestic violence better than the courts of law. It takes two to tangle. It also takes two to mingle.
Let our marriages be for better and not for worse
Recently, I read in the news how a man was sentenced to death for killing wife and daughter. Killing is not a new thing in the society but killing someone you claim to love is what is hard to settle down with.
You might be familiar with the current story of how a gospel singer in Nigeria died of this same menace. Needless to say that most of us witnessed this ordeal either directly or indirectly from our backgrounds.
There's the saying that likings the relationship between couples to that of the teeth and tongue. As realistic as that illustration is, both ‘members of the same body' hasn't put the other to death. Or has your teeth ever cut off your tongue?
Notice that I intentionally used the term ‘members of
the same body' earlier. I think that's where the problem originates from most of the time. When couples no longer see themselves as the same or ‘one', there's bound to be issues.
Evidently, women are the ones termed to be victims but that's not true. Both sides are, actually. You see, there's no fire without a spark. One of the laws stipulated by Isaac Newton states that a body will remain in a state of rest(peace) until an external force is applied. That force is something one of the couple would have to introduce that will take them of their state of rest.
We must put into consideration some special attributes of both genders and give much room for tolerance, change, growth and understanding if any relationship is going to work.
A friend of mine just left an abusive marriage after he'd tried to make it work. He had made all kinds of consultations varying from marital counseling to psychological therapists and even spiritual. The woman on the other hand looks very thin and fragile but abusive and violent.
My friend (the man) most times does the house chores, takes the kids to school, hustle for money to provide for his family. He even at night helps the woman in her business to make distribution of goods to customers. Despite all this, she would deny him sex for months and she doesn't cook for him or do his laundry. I know everything. I wasn't told.
My friend had to leave because he overheard the wife on a phone conversation saying she would have to poison or strangle her man before he makes any move. So, my guy left for his dear life.
In every working relationship, someone is acting a fool. But don't take him or her as a fool. Do not misinterprete this to mean staying in a spontaneous and abusive marriage. That's not what I mean. Avoid it when you have to. Your life is very important.
However, must every relationship go that way? Must we continue with so much hatred and anger until we see the end or doom of the person we claim to love? Must we grow our innocent kids in this kind of up atmosphere until they begin to dread marriage?
Let those who are yet to marry look carefully. And let those who are experiencing this mayhem in their relationship look for possible ways of reconciliation.
A woman, I was told, fights with her man, compares him with other men almost every morning before he left for work. One day, after the same, he was hit by a vehicle on his way to the office. She cried for years in regret after she discovered that indeed the man was trying his best to keep the home running. Now, the children are fatherless, she's a widow and the effort of two would now be carried by one, herself.
If couples still value their relationships, they will deal with domestic violence better than the courts of law. It takes two to tangle. It also takes two to mingle.
Let our marriages be for better and not for worse
