Holicent
VIP Contributor
You've probably heard that "boundaries" are a good thing. But if you're like most people, you probably don't know exactly what boundaries are or why they're important.
In this thread, we'll take a look at what boundaries are, how they help us succeed and how to set the right ones for yourself.
What Is a Boundary?
A boundary is an invisible line that separates who you are from how others see you. If you have too many boundaries, it can be difficult to feel like yourself around others and they may feel as though they don't know who you really are. However, if you don't have enough boundaries — or if they're crossed — self-confidence suffers because people can't tell where their behavior begins and yours ends.
It's important to understand that your boundaries aren't just about personal space and physical distance between others and yourself; it's also about social distance within groups of people (such as friends and family) as well as in relationships with strangers or acquaintances. Those with too many physical or social boundaries tend to feel disconnected from themselves and from other people; those with too few tend to become vulnerable targets for bullies or predators.
The first step in setting boundaries is to ask yourself what you want. I don't mean that you should write down all the things you want to get done, but rather what are the key goals that are important to you? Do you want to lose weight? Have more time for your family? Be more productive at work?
Once you know what those things are, it's easier to figure out how much time and energy it takes to reach them. Then it's possible to set realistic expectations for yourself and others.
The next step is to ask how much you'll be able to give. This can be tricky, so it helps if there's someone else who has already assessed how much time and effort is required for each goal. If not, try asking other people: "How long does it usually take me?" or "How many hours do I spend on this every week?"
Finally, think about whether staying focused on your goals is worth the effort. If they're too big or too small, then maybe they aren't worth working on at all!
In this thread, we'll take a look at what boundaries are, how they help us succeed and how to set the right ones for yourself.
What Is a Boundary?
A boundary is an invisible line that separates who you are from how others see you. If you have too many boundaries, it can be difficult to feel like yourself around others and they may feel as though they don't know who you really are. However, if you don't have enough boundaries — or if they're crossed — self-confidence suffers because people can't tell where their behavior begins and yours ends.
It's important to understand that your boundaries aren't just about personal space and physical distance between others and yourself; it's also about social distance within groups of people (such as friends and family) as well as in relationships with strangers or acquaintances. Those with too many physical or social boundaries tend to feel disconnected from themselves and from other people; those with too few tend to become vulnerable targets for bullies or predators.
The first step in setting boundaries is to ask yourself what you want. I don't mean that you should write down all the things you want to get done, but rather what are the key goals that are important to you? Do you want to lose weight? Have more time for your family? Be more productive at work?
Once you know what those things are, it's easier to figure out how much time and energy it takes to reach them. Then it's possible to set realistic expectations for yourself and others.
The next step is to ask how much you'll be able to give. This can be tricky, so it helps if there's someone else who has already assessed how much time and effort is required for each goal. If not, try asking other people: "How long does it usually take me?" or "How many hours do I spend on this every week?"
Finally, think about whether staying focused on your goals is worth the effort. If they're too big or too small, then maybe they aren't worth working on at all!
