Yusra3
VIP Contributor
You've set them up for success by nurturing big dreams. Now with adult kids navigating careers or advanced academics, witnessing any struggles to stay financially afloat tugs at your heart - and purse strings. But how much direct financial involvement in their young adult lives fosters independence versus dependence?
Completely cutting off kids could communicate a lack of confidence in their potential or dismissal of very real economic challenges facing today's graduates entering the workforce. Then again, indefinite allowances or unchecked assistance well into adulthood risks enabling financial immaturity rather than cultivating grit.
Rather than take hardline stances on either side, consider modulated support when the following conditions apply:
- They’re actively furthering future earning potential through higher education or specialized training programs
- They responsibly discuss financial scenarios, goals and action plans with you
- They exhibit accountability making reasonable efforts to also work and contribute
- They demonstrate financial competence regarding budgeting, spending and impulse control in available resources
Essentially if viewed as a “stepping stone” phase rather than permanent state of dependence, offering measured help for adult children to attain the next rung on personal growth or career ladders makes sense for limited periods. Agree upon timelines or trigger conditions after which the training wheels come off.
Bailing kids out from repeated credit card debt or indulgent lifestyle choices of course warrants intervention by expectation setting, not enablement through ongoing rescue funds. Similarly, supporting adult children at the expense of your own retirement readiness crosses concerning lines. Find balance.
While empathy and periodic assistance show care for family, don’t mortgage personal financial health in the process. Compassion lies in arming kids for success and self-efficacy, not indefinitely prolonging dependence.
Completely cutting off kids could communicate a lack of confidence in their potential or dismissal of very real economic challenges facing today's graduates entering the workforce. Then again, indefinite allowances or unchecked assistance well into adulthood risks enabling financial immaturity rather than cultivating grit.
Rather than take hardline stances on either side, consider modulated support when the following conditions apply:
- They’re actively furthering future earning potential through higher education or specialized training programs
- They responsibly discuss financial scenarios, goals and action plans with you
- They exhibit accountability making reasonable efforts to also work and contribute
- They demonstrate financial competence regarding budgeting, spending and impulse control in available resources
Essentially if viewed as a “stepping stone” phase rather than permanent state of dependence, offering measured help for adult children to attain the next rung on personal growth or career ladders makes sense for limited periods. Agree upon timelines or trigger conditions after which the training wheels come off.
Bailing kids out from repeated credit card debt or indulgent lifestyle choices of course warrants intervention by expectation setting, not enablement through ongoing rescue funds. Similarly, supporting adult children at the expense of your own retirement readiness crosses concerning lines. Find balance.
While empathy and periodic assistance show care for family, don’t mortgage personal financial health in the process. Compassion lies in arming kids for success and self-efficacy, not indefinitely prolonging dependence.